Hand to Heart

in the spiritual tradition i grew up in, we had a common practice of "raising our hand to the square" to signify our agreement from the congregation.  We also learned of using the same sign to stand in strength of spirit when or if the need ever arose to call on the support and strength of unseen guidance and protection.

In the classroom we did the same to vote for a common goal, or elect someone to office--and we held our hand to our heart to pledge allegiance.  I watched many of our olympians this year choose not to raise hand to heart--was that a conscious thing?  I wonder how one can strive for excellence in such a powerful way and not feel overwhelming gratitude and allegiance to a way of being from a country that allowed, encouraged, honored that pursuit?  How is it possible not to be aware of how clearly the physical signs and symbols we revere and honor support us on our own path?


i suppose i should ask that question only for myself, and so i rephrase... 
i ask that my eyes and spirit be constantly awakened and enriched by the signs and symbols whose deeper meaning always guide my path?


"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." 
Antoine De Saint Exupery

this quote has appeared from all directions for me recently--and i was shocked to find it emerge in the mandala i have been pouring onto the page below.  i have been on a journey with a circle of friends--examining my own vows of conscious living.  without having any clue what it was my innards wanted to make outer, i drew this mandala while meditating on my own purity of heart, and while the art part of it lept in light out from the surface of the paper, the clarity of this symbol only now has begun to ring so clear for my own path.  This palm is raised to the square, baring heart fully in a mudra of pure love.

"cultivating purity of heart...one must have a desire to see with transparent eyes, to have no judgement about, desires for, or emotional aversions.  Purity of heart reveals a maskless self, and tremendous personal awareness" 
Deborah Jones

As the color, emotion and energy flow into the light of this circle, the heart appears deep within the iris of this eye--the eye which sees through the heart, does not need nor desire the masks the physical eye relays, but gratefully acknowledges the deep beauty only visible from the stand of heart wide open.

It is from this place that i choose to witness my own self and my tribe, of which you all are a part.

                                        AHO MITAKUYE OYASIN

Poetry Mondays--The Song of the Wandering Aengus

Following whimsy and subject to spontaneity like i am--i declare today  "POETRY MONDAY".  this yeats poem keeps turning up like shiny new dime to be reconsidered and examined. with gaze intrigued, i discover the power of a celtic and druidic return to mystic images unfolding and revealing itself to me in these words.  funny how we experience things on one level, and they become brand new when our eyes are opened on a new level of awareness.
i am grateful for a conscious look at all the symbols that are offering their wisdom to those who seek.


what images are revealed to you?

The Song of Wandering Aengus
By William Butler Yeats

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire aflame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

To Consider: Love and its thousand transformations, and the pursuit of the Beloved, that holy one who calls me by my name. Over and over again.

I AM

This is my very first "guest blogger" --  if you will.  I couldn't not share these words with just a few more people. and in the same moment celebrate how we all express our own senses, connection, yearning and knowing.

This is a poem by one of my friend's children (pictured below) .  what hope and vision i see for a world inspired by the spirit of child like this.  

I AM
BY: Connor Martindale.

I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I wonder about the animals in desperate need.
I hear roaches croaking at me.
I see the fireflies flying around me
I want to be a believer.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I pretend I’m in world war 2.
I feel blood pouring out of me.
I touch the nurse as I’m in desperate need.
I worry that I’m going to die.
I cry as I see that I’m a survivor.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I understand that I will die someday.
I say I’m happy.
I dream about my past life.
I try to be a good man.
I hope that I’m right.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.

Now i lay me Down to Sleep

So a little while back i did this pretty powerful ritual with a group i was working with and it called for writing a prayer to my own higher self; or even the powerful spirit and ethos of the caring universe.  I scribbled a version of it into my journal and only just pulled it out tonight--this has been a pretty tough few weeks of temperature check for myself--You know, the whole, "who am i, what am i doing here" business that sparks a bit of energy every once-in-a while.

so as i sat quite still and read these words i felt so grateful to a higher self that helped me to write these words down a while back, knowing this would be just what i was yearning to hear from someone with the vision to know...

ma cher petite lama,

Be gentle on yourself as you rise in the oven, don't get overly anxious or make any sudden moves; i didn't let the eggs sit out all day, bringing them to room temperature just so you could make a scramble out of my souffle. The oven really does have to be that hot or the air won't create the space and you won't rise like you need to, all those perfect air bubbles in the mix are evidence that the chef was trained in only the best of kitchens.  The Refiner's fire never was meant to leave the silver full of dross ya know.  i even broke my blade while chopping the ironwood for the fire and had to go back to the forge to make a new one--always a sign of strong portence--to be sure.


and not to worry, the crack in the bowl is from when dog and goddess rushed into the kitchen so excited they were back in time to add the bergamot and ginger they gathered just for you.  that crack allows for just the right amount of steam to escape when the pressure is so intense and cannot be contained, and all that steam makes for such a good crust on the outer layers.  The spices are called for in an amazing recipe my mother taught us (madre de dios, she does have quite a good sense of mirth) they prepare the senses for so many opportunities to taste the flavor of life--i can't wait to savor those moments with you.


it's not long now--you'll know when you are ready--just go ahead and join the hosts of heaven in the dining hall--we have a feast layed in your honor..


Amen!!!!

CHEF

Evolution of Right Speech

I'm not sure what these 4 images mean...they are something i drew illuminating my own journey of using my voice in right speech.  I have found there is much i have to share that remains unshared, much to voice that is unheard.  i invite my spirit and voice to sound out the heartwrenching tone of my soul--whether this song is sung on key or not, it is a note that is called to join the throng, and without it, the cosmos would not be complete.

solar eclipse tonight--ceremony anyone? at 11:11pm PST

Tonight's a beautiful night to hold ceremony welcoming in the sun energy of creating the new in your own world.   With the new year full moon and blue moon we had the illuminating chance to create movement, closure, send blessings and hold ceremony for all that was transitioning in our lives.   Now with the solar eclipse we are invited to ignite, catalyze and spur the new that 2010 will bring. 

as we move closer to 2012, shamanic lore tells us that our energetic shifts are sped up to 20 day cycles for what we used to cycle through in a year.  be gentle with yourself during this time, be on purpose, invite the change you are looking for in your life--don't let it come up as if "by accident".  now is the time to awaken to the call of your unique and glorious path and be on purpose in the world.

inHarmony astrology: solar eclipse in capricorn 1/14/10 at 11:11pm PST

what comes around, colors my world

one of my journal pages from a recent moment when i was flooded with information and couldn't take it in intellectually. i switched and started with colors and shapes and here is what i ended up with. then i came home and found this start to a blog. ok, so they both are far from perfect, but the synchronicity could not be ignored, at least not by me:)

this week is completely different. i'm so much more willing to be in my moments, expect good things and am actually finding that to be true. once again a reminder of how life moves in ebb and flow, and where i'm standing in the tide makes all the difference on how i experience the truth.

i am learning that as i trust emergence, the beautiful things for which i seek...i.e. "how a little lama finds her way in the world" seem to just show up gloriously. and when i integrate all my allowing spirit with my silly little old ego, i love what bubbles to the surface!


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Now playing: Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová - Falling Slowly
via FoxyTunes





Lisa J. Winston Photography

Introspection Loves Company

(author's note re: dramatic liscence...these are the combined words, thoughts, heartbeats of my mystic tribe. i ask full pardon and blessing for combining them to the beat of my own heart)

Oh Ram.....

When alone and introspective

I marvel at the creature and spirit that breathes its way into my awareness...

The drums are getting louder and my heart beats in time...

When the wind touches me in new ways

I feel the smell of the summer air for the first time

It weaves in and out of being in the world,

Consciously entering into and emerging from Presence.

delving deep within, and trusting fully

Jumping "off the cliff" empty handed

I hear this call out of the fog of forgetfulness.

Take the jump not because it is comfortable, but because comfort follows the jump.

Look forward to the splash as we take the leap together

Into this expansive void I free fall with gusto

From a high-ground view where my intent wavered,

and where I stopped to swallow stillness.

as promised, here's my voice again,

It flutters like a million Butterfly wings

Sounding out, a tone to follow....

Back to the well where we'll drink once more.

I feel your words now

Vibrating, jingling my bones, dancing under my skin...

In anticipation and Love for my tribe.....
I feel you all so very close, with every breath.....

The body as a temple is practice in answer to prayer

The balancing elixir of our systems

Headed for something Biblical or divine,

out of my awareness I do manage to find the switch

And love every minute of this wild ride;

Learning to stay grounded, in rhythm with earth.

I end up an alchemist making elixirs of rock, vortexes of manifest ease.

If the earth were not cracked open we would never have known

Never known the jewels, the great Earth medicines

Life goes on, important events "just happen".

No amount of preparation or lack thereof will change anything

Heartaches arrive on my doorstep

Accompanied with a freedom previously mistaken for loss.

A couple I welcome inside to get warm

They make themselves intimately known to the who I am today

I am "chomping at the bit"...

like the wind horse pulling on the reigns of our awareness;

The soul rearing to go, galloping into its remembrance of undifferentiated Self.

Sometimes I am unsure of what I might find;

others I am at rest in the Divine Mother's lap

Knowing that I knew nothing...

Hence the ground cracking open...blasting through my Pisces Sun,

The water of this swim burns at noonday and fills my gills

Come out to the desert one and all.

The Land waits

The Mystery is waiting

I am surrounded by a ring of fire.

Out of the circle of time and into the circle of love
only when I stopped to listen,

Was I able to hear?

Will we be chased through the desert by our captors?

Will the sea part, leading us to our freedom?

Shut the talking down,

Break through the gateway,

Guarding the mystery of heart

Balancing the daily company of death,

I am in awe of the power

I am very much at peace

It's important for us to feel each other gathering....

Emptied, enchanted, expanded, ecstatic and.... united as One.
Just to Re-member our Wholeness

with open arms and heart

And in the "unknowing", where all pictures turn

velvety darkness or pure potential,

the entire landscape transforms

At the still point, I wait with joyful anticipation of our reunion.

YOU HAVE ONLY TO BE STILL.

Messenger of messengers

Enough silence to truly hear.
I answer the call to return to our circle

and delve deeper into the water,

Divine Rebirth

Oh Ram…how curious your costume

petitelama, Deborah, Delora, Lisa, Don, David, Julie, Julia, Lola, Kim, Tracie, Mary, Wendy Sue, Ryan, Margaret, Dana, Anne lise, Sandy, Diana

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Now playing: peter gabriel Salisbury Hill
via FoxyTunes

i ask you, is this the eye of God?

i'm not quite sitting on the dock of the bay, but the view from where i am atop the trees of the amazon is not one to scoff at. from my perch in the trees it would seem i am just another creature of the jungle...and my lovely friend (her partner was just a tad bit more shy) appears to be questioning me as much as i am questioning her. do you think perhaps she thinks me god as well? in her world that girl with the crazy, frizzy (thank you rain forest humidity) hair could be the strangest thing she has ever seen and just might be considered some kind of celestial visitation. (since i have added a little more blond to my hair of late, everyone thinks me a tad bit heavenly)

my question really is, why isn't that bright eyed, alert and a little bit cunning bird in front of me the god i am looking for? and perhaps she is...i really couldn't ask to be placed more squarely in the heartbeat of the world or perhaps the cosmos than where i am sitting right now. i am breathing deeply, opening heart and eyes...from this stance layers peel away and i feel stripped bare and vulnerable and like it that way

No better time than the present

well it's almost over, the world's longest lasting sprint, run-up-to-the-finishline, push through til you get it done, kick my ass month of work that i've had in a long time. i've just sent off a group of 15 tired, worn-out, hard-working and much-expecting americans, from their first ever humanitarian expedition in brazil. while there is so much to say about all of our experiences here and so many details about them all, this is not the place for that. Rather, this is the place for what i learned about me and the ways things work during this quite challenging experience.

and here's the thing...i'm happy to be alive, doing what i'm doing, being who i'm being. there are so many nitpicky things i could say about the people i've just traveled with (i'm sure they could say things about me as well), or criticisms i could lodge about the work we've done and how i wish we could do it better--with improvement each time, or about how my life just isn't complete, but i just don't want that to be what i ever say, where my brain ever goes, how my time is ever spent. it seems funny to me to learn this lesson at this time in my life, but while my precious little egoic brain is struggling to do all the things i've listed above. my now, well-worn heart and spirit are calmly taking a breather. the 3 of us have all just had the same experience, but the heart and spirit part are just done letting the ego brain take the lead at this point.

i was explaining the concept of the "debrief" to my friend here the other day. this is to sit down after an experience and pick it apart. take apart all the pieces and examine them from every side. i just absolutely love to do this--my brain gets very mentally satisfied to go through all this examination and finally calm itself once all the "debriefing" endorphins have been exhausted. my choice at this moment is to learn that there is not a need for the "debrief" in this way anymore. my brain/ego in charge just absolutely won't accept that reasoning. it wants, it needs to go through the process to resolve all loose ends and energy that are hanging out there, to compartmentalize, analyze, clearly define all aspects of the experience. but i see now, that this extreme processing does not serve my spirit. my spirit accepts what is, what has been done--loves how everything plays out and moves forward with confidence that all will be well, all is well.

that is my truth right now, as i choose that, behave in accordance with that belief--that is how the flow of energy surrounding me gets flowing on my behalf.

i had a great chat with one young man this week who was all full of bragadoccio and piss and vinegar. through his eyes, he had no need to concern himself with the people or circumstances going on around him because he had enough determination and personal power to muscle through any situation. in my eyes, i see he has an amazing bit of strength, but how much more can he accomplish when he chooses to get the flow of things around him to go in his same direction. i turn this lesson right in on myself, here i am, in this moment...i choose to step into the river that is flowing in my life; embrace fully the opportunities that show up as gifts and challenges--and start paddling with all my might--or floating when the current takes me...

to be right here in the gift of now...

did any of this make sense? it's all i've got for now, just really wanted to take a moment to reflect in a way that didn't give full charge to my ego:)


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Now playing: Resgate Surf - nada e impossivel
via FoxyTunes