one time sitting around with a group of friends discussion turned to what super hero power you would take on if you could choose...my sister said, she would add a hidden hour to the day that only she could use, thus giving her hidden time to get all the things done she had overcommitted to. what kind of a superpower is that, i ask you? i was just sitting at my desk wishing for an extra hour in the day, but when it gets right down to it, i don't want that to be the special thing about me--that i have enough time to get all my "supposed to's" done. i would much rather step into the starting to check off all the "want to's" for my life..
as i reflect on this day, i spent about 35 minutes so far doing anything i want. i'm not exactly sure how to balance that; i like my job, i like the purpose behind what i do, but do i like the countless meetings about proper verbage for donor reciprocity, or the weighty stacks of powerpoints on my desk informing one group or another about something very important? i can't say that i have much affinity for these things. so where does the balance come in? how do i incorporate more of what i want into my everyday? is it by jealously guarding a hidden hour to secretly fill with my precious chosen moments? i don't think so...in fact, there probably is no amount of thinking that will resolve this conundrum...it is a certain amount of doing and being that starts the ball rolling. what is that superpower? how do i get more of that flowing in my life? if i can't even articulate the superpower, how do i get the day to day power that coincides? is there a specifice forum where i can get these questions answered...
and there it is...just like that...superpower of the day--the power to pray--check in with spirit, sense what my own heart is calling for and resonate in that zone for a few minutes. it can't show up unless it knows i want it right? so unless i spend some energy calling it in, sensing what it feels like, how i feel doing it--even when i don't know what "it" is right now
in the spiritual tradition i grew up in, we had a common practice of "raising our hand to the square" to signify our agreement from the congregation. We also learned of using the same sign to stand in strength of spirit when or if the need ever arose to call on the support and strength of unseen guidance and protection.
In the classroom we did the same to vote for a common goal, or elect someone to office--and we held our hand to our heart to pledge allegiance. I watched many of our olympians this year choose not to raise hand to heart--was that a conscious thing? I wonder how one can strive for excellence in such a powerful way and not feel overwhelming gratitude and allegiance to a way of being from a country that allowed, encouraged, honored that pursuit? How is it possible not to be aware of how clearly the physical signs and symbols we revere and honor support us on our own path?
i suppose i should ask that question only for myself, and so i rephrase... i ask that my eyes and spirit be constantly awakened and enriched by the signs and symbols whose deeper meaning always guide my path?
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Antoine De Saint Exupery
this quote has appeared from all directions for me recently--and i was shocked to find it emerge in the mandala i have been pouring onto the page below. i have been on a journey with a circle of friends--examining my own vows of conscious living. without having any clue what it was my innards wanted to make outer, i drew this mandala while meditating on my own purity of heart, and while the art part of it lept in light out from the surface of the paper, the clarity of this symbol only now has begun to ring so clear for my own path. This palm is raised to the square, baring heart fully in a mudra of pure love.
"cultivating purity of heart...one must have a desire to see with transparent eyes, to have no judgement about, desires for, or emotional aversions. Purity of heart reveals a maskless self, and tremendous personal awareness" Deborah Jones
As the color, emotion and energy flow into the light of this circle, the heart appears deep within the iris of this eye--the eye which sees through the heart, does not need nor desire the masks the physical eye relays, but gratefully acknowledges the deep beauty only visible from the stand of heart wide open.
It is from this place that i choose to witness my own self and my tribe, of which you all are a part.
Following whimsy and subject to spontaneity like i am--i declare today "POETRY MONDAY". this yeats poem keeps turning up like shiny new dime to be reconsidered and examined. with gaze intrigued, i discover the power of a celtic and druidic return to mystic images unfolding and revealing itself to me in these words. funny how we experience things on one level, and they become brand new when our eyes are opened on a new level of awareness. i am grateful for a conscious look at all the symbols that are offering their wisdom to those who seek.
what images are revealed to you?
The Song of Wandering Aengus
By William Butler Yeats
I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.
When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire aflame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.
Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.
To Consider: Love and its thousand transformations, and the pursuit of the Beloved, that holy one who calls me by my name. Over and over again.
This is my very first "guest blogger" -- if you will. I couldn't not share these words with just a few more people. and in the same moment celebrate how we all express our own senses, connection, yearning and knowing.
This is a poem by one of my friend's children (pictured below) . what hope and vision i see for a world inspired by the spirit of child like this.
I AM
BY: Connor Martindale.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I wonder about the animals in desperate need.
I hear roaches croaking at me.
I see the fireflies flying around me
I want to be a believer.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I pretend I’m in world war 2.
I feel blood pouring out of me.
I touch the nurse as I’m in desperate need.
I worry that I’m going to die.
I cry as I see that I’m a survivor.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
I understand that I will die someday.
I say I’m happy.
I dream about my past life.
I try to be a good man.
I hope that I’m right.
I am a wonderer seeking for my freedom.
So a little while back i did this pretty powerful ritual with a group i was working with and it called for writing a prayer to my own higher self; or even the powerful spirit and ethos of the caring universe. I scribbled a version of it into my journal and only just pulled it out tonight--this has been a pretty tough few weeks of temperature check for myself--You know, the whole, "who am i, what am i doing here" business that sparks a bit of energy every once-in-a while.
so as i sat quite still and read these words i felt so grateful to a higher self that helped me to write these words down a while back, knowing this would be just what i was yearning to hear from someone with the vision to know...
ma cher petite lama,
Be gentle on yourself as you rise in the oven, don't get overly anxious or make any sudden moves; i didn't let the eggs sit out all day, bringing them to room temperature just so you could make a scramble out of my souffle. The oven really does have to be that hot or the air won't create the space and you won't rise like you need to, all those perfect air bubbles in the mix are evidence that the chef was trained in only the best of kitchens. The Refiner's fire never was meant to leave the silver full of dross ya know. i even broke my blade while chopping the ironwood for the fire and had to go back to the forge to make a new one--always a sign of strong portence--to be sure.
and not to worry, the crack in the bowl is from when dog and goddess rushed into the kitchen so excited they were back in time to add the bergamot and ginger they gathered just for you. that crack allows for just the right amount of steam to escape when the pressure is so intense and cannot be contained, and all that steam makes for such a good crust on the outer layers. The spices are called for in an amazing recipe my mother taught us (madre de dios, she does have quite a good sense of mirth) they prepare the senses for so many opportunities to taste the flavor of life--i can't wait to savor those moments with you.
it's not long now--you'll know when you are ready--just go ahead and join the hosts of heaven in the dining hall--we have a feast layed in your honor..
I'm not sure what these 4 images mean...they are something i drew illuminating my own journey of using my voice in right speech. I have found there is much i have to share that remains unshared, much to voice that is unheard. i invite my spirit and voice to sound out the heartwrenching tone of my soul--whether this song is sung on key or not, it is a note that is called to join the throng, and without it, the cosmos would not be complete.
Tonight's a beautiful night to hold ceremony welcoming in the sun energy of creating the new in your own world. With the new year full moon and blue moon we had the illuminating chance to create movement, closure, send blessings and hold ceremony for all that was transitioning in our lives. Now with the solar eclipse we are invited to ignite, catalyze and spur the new that 2010 will bring.
as we move closer to 2012, shamanic lore tells us that our energetic shifts are sped up to 20 day cycles for what we used to cycle through in a year. be gentle with yourself during this time, be on purpose, invite the change you are looking for in your life--don't let it come up as if "by accident". now is the time to awaken to the call of your unique and glorious path and be on purpose in the world.
one of my journal pages from a recent moment when i was flooded with information and couldn't take it in intellectually. i switched and started with colors and shapes and here is what i ended up with. then i came home and found this start to a blog. ok, so they both are far from perfect, but the synchronicity could not be ignored, at least not by me:)
this week is completely different. i'm so much more willing to be in my moments, expect good things and am actually finding that to be true. once again a reminder of how life moves in ebb and flow, and where i'm standing in the tide makes all the difference on how i experience the truth.
i am learning that as i trust emergence, the beautiful things for which i seek...i.e. "how a little lama finds her way in the world" seem to just show up gloriously. and when i integrate all my allowing spirit with my silly little old ego, i love what bubbles to the surface!
(author's note re: dramatic liscence...these are the combined words, thoughts, heartbeats of my mystic tribe. i ask full pardon and blessing for combining them to the beat of my own heart)
Oh Ram.....
When alone and introspective
I marvel at the creature and spirit that breathes its way into my awareness...
The drums are getting louder and my heart beats in time...
When the wind touches me in new ways
I feel the smell of the summer air for the first time
It weaves in and out of being in the world,
Consciously entering into and emerging from Presence.
delving deep within, and trusting fully
Jumping "off the cliff" empty handed
I hear this call out of the fog of forgetfulness.
Take the jump not because it is comfortable, but because comfort follows the jump.
Look forward to the splash as we take the leap together
Into this expansive void I free fall with gusto
From a high-ground view where my intent wavered,
and where I stopped to swallow stillness.
as promised, here's my voice again,
It flutters like a million Butterfly wings
Sounding out, a tone to follow....
Back to the well where we'll drink once more.
I feel your words now
Vibrating, jingling my bones, dancing under my skin...
In anticipation and Love for my tribe.....
I feel you all so very close, with every breath.....
The body as a temple is practice in answer to prayer
The balancing elixir of our systems
Headed for something Biblical or divine,
out of my awareness I do manage to find the switch
And love every minute of this wild ride;
Learning to stay grounded, in rhythm with earth.
I end up an alchemist making elixirs of rock, vortexes of manifest ease.
If the earth were not cracked open we would never have known
Never known the jewels, the great Earth medicines
Life goes on, important events "just happen".
No amount of preparation or lack thereof will change anything
Heartaches arrive on my doorstep
Accompanied with a freedom previously mistaken for loss.
A couple I welcome inside to get warm
They make themselves intimately known to the who I am today
I am "chomping at the bit"...
like the wind horse pulling on the reigns of our awareness;
The soul rearing to go, galloping into its remembrance of undifferentiated Self.
Sometimes I am unsure of what I might find;
others I am at rest in the Divine Mother's lap
Knowing that I knew nothing...
Hence the ground cracking open...blasting through my Pisces Sun,
The water of this swim burns at noonday and fills my gills
Come out to the desert one and all.
The Land waits
The Mystery is waiting
I am surrounded by a ring of fire.
Out of the circle of time and into the circle of love only when I stopped to listen,
Was I able to hear?
Will we be chased through the desert by our captors?
Will the sea part, leading us to our freedom?
Shut the talking down,
Break through the gateway,
Guarding the mystery of heart
Balancing the daily company of death,
I am in awe of the power
I am very much at peace
It's important for us to feel each other gathering....
Emptied, enchanted, expanded, ecstatic and.... united as One. Just to Re-member our Wholeness
with open arms and heart
And in the "unknowing", where all pictures turn
velvety darkness or pure potential,
the entire landscape transforms
At the still point, I wait with joyful anticipation of our reunion.
YOU HAVE ONLY TO BE STILL.
Messenger of messengers
Enough silence to truly hear. I answer the call to return to our circle
and delve deeper into the water,
Divine Rebirth
Oh Ram…how curious your costume
petitelama,Deborah, Delora, Lisa, Don,David,Julie,Julia,Lola,Kim,Tracie,Mary,Wendy Sue,Ryan,Margaret,Dana, Anne lise,Sandy,Diana
