Let's get real,
|the two minds of the lama...she who talks the loudest?|
Here's the conflict,
how do i take a look with my heart instead of just making the space for my brain to get involved? i do this review thing, this synthesis or assimilation, and i think it's part of an elaborate ruse for my ego to settle back into the fiction that it's in charge. if my brain gets to wrap itself around all the thoughts and emotions that i am experiencing, then it gets to harness and dictate what choices/actions i will make next. so there's the rub...i'm on this hugantic quest to get the fuck out of my ego brain and writing seems to put me right back there. (see if i use the f word here, you can tell i'm really fed up with this bit and while you might be offended you also might get on board and relate with how high my emotional frustration is...good girl ego felt the need to explain that one, brainy ego felt the need to qualify for good girl so she doesn't seem stupid...well fuck, anyone else want to chime in?)
so what's the goal...well according to my laughing yogini, there is no goal, there is only now...so that's what i got for today.