Friday, January 30, 2009
change of venue
change of weather
change of body positions
different or any music
it's been a long few weeks of hard work, and i really haven't had much time for doing the personal, meaningful stuff we all crave. i'm noticing some things though that are making me really happy about my life. i started working at my current job, a start-up non-profit in march of last year. when i began, my boss said we would start with 20 hours a week, she and i the only two employees, and then see where we needed to grow. i worked 20 hours just that first week and haven't worked less than 40 since then, and usually more like 50-60. (one excrutiating week at 97.5 hours, but now i'm just begging for sympathy.)
i give you all this information because i am recognizing some great things about my own comfort level with all of this busyness and work this year. it has been hard and challenging, but i have actually quite thouroughly enjoyed it! this is so different for me. even when i am doing work i love, my need for down time, introspection and processing has always been pretty extreme and i have always looked for ways to include activities of solitude and peace throughout my weeks. those activities are few and far between for me these days and i am recognizing the fact that, for me, it's o.k. not to have perfectly blocked out "inner-work" time. it's o.k. to count a 10 minute bath as both daily hygiene and meditation; a cup of coffee with the paper counts as a "ritual" for the day that calms the inner beast.
i like it, and i'm so grateful--in our world of constant go, go, go, i am the first person to urge people and myself to always plan a few minutes for ourselves. But i am loving the fact that the distinct nature of these moments is loosening and expanding for me. the firm lines between in motion and at rest are blurring and here's the thing...
rest in motion is a great place to find solace. rather than believing the only way to leave behind the worries of a work-a-day world is to actually leave it behind, i am finding that i can "leave it behind" if i consciously choose to do so in anything i'm doing. a drive to the bank becomes a chance to pound out my favorite rock anthem, taking the stairs at work evolves into a rythmic way to focus on my own heartbeat, and writing in the hotel lobby while waiting for a meeting clears the cobwebs from my introspective brain.
Now playing: Cake - Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps