Saturday, August 14, 2010


my neck does not quite have strong enough muscles to keep my head on straight from all the flip-flopping my little spirit has been doing this week.  thank heavens, literally, for the jumping in on so many moments of bits of blessing that intercede on my behalf.  as i progress in learning i get more and more convinced that i have built a pretty crazy ego in this lifetime.  there are all sorts of hoops i have set up over the years that i ask myself to jump through just to feel like everything is ok in my world.
where did these crazy notions come from?
now i find that it is only through tighter constraints with even bigger expanses available on the other side that i begin to clearly recognize how joyful it is to let go of ego altogether.  when that deathgrip of control finally gets so exhausted, worn out through all its incredibly silly machinations of apparent perfection, the moments of grace do this little snoopy dance of glee and start to slip in at the edges.  i am always loving how joyful synchronicities show up in my life and welcome the signs that they are winding their way toward my prayerful pleas.

Just such a synchronicity showed up in the form of a long-haired, soft-spoken, deep-thinking friend that appeared to be my co-leader this week. when it seemed i would be working on my current group solo and my neck started doing these funny spams of stress-related grips, an unlikely candidate was suggested to me and after a mad dash for a brazilian visa and several marathon phone conversations, here we are together leading this group as an ensemble.  and wow, my eyes are opened at how the learning comes.

"with arms outstretched still..."
turns out this last minute replacement leads ropes courses for inner city youth building life-skills and self-esteem, and with every question he asks, frisbee he tosses, and rope he ties to a tree i wonder at the power of the web to pull such a teacher into my path.  not that he is aware of this at all, or maybe he is...? (how does the saying go..."when the student is ready, the teacher appears")  in his own projects he leads group chats, what i call "Noticings"  he calls "Serendipities"  and they do abound.  for this i am grateful.  As the Angels Have been Called, the drums are beating right along with our hearts and hippie-like co-leaders appear as an answer to prayer.  i suddenly notice the clear, serendipitous gift i have been given and with arms and heart open wide, i reach out to receive this gift with all the magnanimous show of support, love and answer to prayer in which it was given.

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