Thursday, March 3, 2011
This winter has truly been a space of ebb and moving in fallow land to discover what might be growing just under the surface. For me this has been a therapeutic time of stillness, deep soil regeneration and wondering. i am in wonderment at how life continually blesses me with challenges and awakenings that coax my timid footsteps into clearer paths. i wanted to share just a bit of that learning, reaching out in connection and a willingness to be seen.
i meet with a group every couple of weeks that does some deep work/play on fundamental energy concepts of spirit and intuition. recently our guide asked in general "what are your intuitive gifts?" it's sometimes hard to just come right out and say it isn't it? or maybe that's just me. and sometimes i don't even have a clue what my gifts are. in that moment i wasn't interested in hiding my gifts, but claiming them--so i joined in by saying "i'm a storyteller". she said, "great, will you present to us next week?" i'm sure you can imagine my own shock and no meagre dismay at having to move from saying a single word about myself into actually turning on this so-called gift in front of a group that i consider to be quite gifted. What was i thinking, why did i raise my hand, how could i have dared?
the next week class was canceled, i had a reprieve i thought. but as time stretched out, my little ole brain got in the middle of things and started to second guess me all over the place. Several times i had to consciously switch off that chatter to allow the deeper knowing in me a place to work. and work it did...right alongside the brain that spent a long sick-day in bed, several tearjerking sessions evaluating my own worth and one or two silly, crazy arguments with those i love. i never even spotted one of the causes for all this turmoil was the shifting. all through the winter, so many things germinating inside that were just dying (or in this case LIVING) to get out.
when the evening came i was ready, that means i had calmed my tired mind and emptied it of expectation. (i did spend some funny moments making sure my house was clean, the good smelling candles were lit and i had a huge stack of possible props at hand--ahhh the busywork) when called upon i spent a few minutes in my own "small story"; sharing what felt like vulnerable details of my own earth experience and a desire to connect even in that place. But then i shifted in the "grand and mythic tale"--this always seems a suit much more fulfilling to wear. without having a plan, just the intention to invite story in, in the best way it would serve the moment, i opened my storybook and went. someone volunteered to have their story told, drew from a tray of archetypal objects (or just fun sand tray items really collected on my own journey through story) and off we went; weaving a story together that began in his own tiniest of places and ended in the biggest vision he could see of himself. (his words, not mine)
and then there was silence, how did that happen, what did i say, was that really real or am i just dreaming? the roaring silence filled my ears with the joy of filling space with a shared spirit--as i shared my own gifts, spirit raced in to fill me up, expand my vision and guide my tale; and those loving wonderful spirits in the room met me there, so willing and joyful to witness the journey.
I share this story as an invitation, when we share our vulnerable hearts with the courage to be seen, there is a gift created in that moment; a gift of the mythic character we each are being named and seen and celebrated. this is no small gift and it encourages the re-gifting by it's very nature. i thank you for so gently witnessing my own story and always offer that gift in return.
I saw this lovely little talk on TED recently that actually prompted me to write this up and share with more than my own small group that evening--i offer it as a tasty morsel of delightful insight and learning into our own magic pixie places:) Magic Pixie/Storyteller...a little TED piece about that gift