Thursday, December 13, 2012

I AM The I (eye) of The STORM

Yesterday was the last day in our lifetimes when the calendar will line up with such powerful repetitive digits...12/12/12.  When the whole world is so busy looking forward to next week when 12/21/2012 hits our doorstep; the ebullient and life-affirming energy of the 12th Night stepped in and took my breath away.

so here's the thing, one could say I am into the power of numbers; not like watch out for that huge 3 looming over your head, but closer to the notion of the resonance--the sheer vibrational pitch--that dates and their energy offer us when we are open to receiving it--read as, pay attention there's some good shit about to come forth!  Now even more than numbers i am into words---the vibration and meaning of our shared language can sometimes be so incredibly profound that it takes my breath away in the saying and soothes my soul in the praying.  When i combine these two notions, i can often end up speechless just because of all the powerful understanding that comes through these ideas when i truly pay attention.

So to start with the numbers..
.as i started to look at the energy of this line-up of 12/12/12, i realized that it was a date for some beautiful self-expression, love of beauty and creativity, a completion and settling in of our heart space.  Amidst this year of oft-times earth-shattering change, came a day right close to the end of the year that offers a summation of all things beautiful that we have made out of the huge storm of life brewing throughout this year of tumultuous energy.  It purposely offered a chance to stop, reflect and encourage each of us to acknowledge what gorgeous mudpies we made out of the soup of our lives this year!   This is a place deep within the Heart Chakra to sing out how much we love ourselves, how grateful and grand our own soul is, how fantastic and funny we are to friends, and how majestic and kind our hearts truly are.

 Did you take that moment?  it's not too late ya know!!!  Consider this a free coupon to reflect, wrap your arms tight around yourself and all of those you love, and bask in the love that you have made in the world!!!

and with a deep breath, we move with that energy of deep self-love to look to the energy of 12/21/2012...(and i just freakin' love how these numbers delight me once again)  the energy of this day, as promised and prophesied, is hugely about the end of the world...but this big "ENDING"  completely up to interpretation.  This means you get to make the sense of it that works for you...The energy it offers is to break our hearts wide open from the deeply introspective place of self-love i just told you to get in, and recognize that we are moving to a place of Universal Love for all mankind.  The vibration of this date actually cries out as a wake up call!  It beckons, begs and bargains for us to finally at the very gate of our endings, to wake up to our Universal beginning.  How profound if we only are awake enough to answer that call.  As the poet Rumi tells us "the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you, don't go back to sleep".  Listen to these whisperings, take them into your spirit, wake up to this time of shifting from knowing yourself in the internal and singular way that our ego would like to keep us and consider Knowing yourself, as the vast connected Brotherhood of Humankind--we are not separate!

And here's where the word thing really starts to kick in big time!!!! 
 This notion of Knowing ourselves...the energy of this year and now this swift and expansive 10 days from 12th to 21st is about knowing our hearts in a totally new way.  As the storm, indeed the Hurricane of change rages all around us, we have the choice to become the I(eye) Am of the storm.  "You will shelter me my love, and I will shelter you to!" are the sweet and haunting words the musician Ray laMontagne uses to encourage a different way.  But i'm not sure even those words are enough...they are the start...the stilling of the moment, the tiny invitation to stop in the storm and find a place of respite, but where do we find this respite?

"And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land". Isaiah 32:2  

When we consider these words from the view of our own enlightenment, our own path of stepping into the great I Am, ourselves as the divine, ourselves as the light when we allow it to shine forth from our very soul...This is when the tempest may rage all around us, but we become the very stillpoint in the the center.  The energy center at the very core of our being, the heart chakra, has the capacity to expand from a place of just the little ole' me that my ego likes to practice that i am, way out into the fearlessly extraordinary place of the Universal I AM--at one with all.  (this gives a whole new thought to the idea of what might be hinted at in the word and offering of Atonement doesn't it?)

Stick with me here because i have this huge stream of consciousness word thing that wants to get down on paper, so if you will indulge...
When we consider how from our very heart space we block ourselves off from self-love...we judge and hold ourselves as separate and less than...our culture will suggest that this is a call for repentance.  Now consider the root of this word's Greek the word for Repentance is "Metanioa"...and the literal translation of this word is "to go beyond the mind" into "the larger mind".  If we can release ourself from the singular space of isolation within our own self, the place where we judge from separation and assess and figure things out in our brain; release into the expansive connection to the whole of humanity.  we are not separate or isolated, the shared wisdom and energy that is available from spirit--we shift beyond the place of repenting in our limitations to rejoicing in the connection of the Universal heartmind--here is where true wisdom is found--we forsake whatever it is that makes us feel alone and isolated and leap into the space where we are connected, not alone, euphoric in this discovered place of oneness.

And finally to the true "Knowing" of ourselves...
'Tree of Life'
In Greek, "Gnosis" is the word for "to know with intuition"...consider the often used (and sometimes with humor) to "know" in the Biblical sense...In Hebrew, the word Da'ath translates as 'lovemaking', but the Kabbalists use it to designate the very center of our beings, our heart space in the the Tree of Life and it is often referred to as that space or name which cannot be mentioned--perhaps because the very notion is so elusive, that the explanation must be learned from within, not taught from without (and yet, here i go because i just can't help articulating how lushy all this string of connections feels for me). Consider for a moment the joyful and exuberant place that lovemaking puts us, combine that sense with "knowing" with intuition.  It is no accident that these two kinds of knowing are intertwined--there is a literal space of ecstasy to tap into when we allow the light of non-separateness, or nonduality to be the place our heart expands to, and the place we access our own deepest wisdom and knowing.

So if we truly come to "know" ourselves--we open into the place of wisdom far beyond what our limited ego and individual mind can offer
. "As long as you have an ego, you're on a limited trip" Ram Dass
To step outside of the place where our mind does all the thinking for us--the place where ego reigns supreme, into the the expansive energy of heartmind,  where the very "knowing" of ourselves transform the notion we have of lovemaking at its very core.  When we say I Am That I Am, we shift from the singular self of the eye, and expand into the universal and connected way of the I Am. We look into the face of God in every single face we encounter and are awestruck by the power of love that is found there!!!  Repentance feels pretty awesome from this place, break our hearts wide open, go way beyond into the place where 
I Am the way, the truth and the LIGHT!!!  This light in our heart exposes all, enlightens all and shifts the tempest that rages all around us into an incredibly profound dance of light!!!  To shift at that moment from just being a particle of light, into 'knowing' yourself to be the WAVE OF LIGHT is to find yourself as the I of any storm, the stillpoint of love, the pulsating, lovemaking, heartbreaking trascendant place of the divine. Here is where the true kundalini begins to rise and we recognize that we tremor in the expansive, connected, magnetic and magnanimous space this offers...With eyes (I's) truly open here, simply living is always some piece of lovemaking--an ecstatic and holy practice of Oneness.

So take a deep breath---these 10 days are the beginning of something truly grand.  We are invited to step into the 'knowing' of ourselves in the expansive, vibrant and ecstatic place of the Wave of Love.  
are you awake to hear this 'breeze at dawn' ? Do Not go back to sleep
 You don't wanna miss RIDING THIS WAVE! 
Right on through the I(eye) Am of this Storm

Many thanks to my teacher, Cynthia Bourgeault, and her teachings in "The Wisdom Jesus" 


  1. Valerie - I love what you wrote, so interesting and profound plus the images you chose. Thank you for sharing your insights with all of us.

    1. It was my honor and pleasure to scribble those words down just as fast as they poured into my heart!

  2. Ram - you made me cry. So incredibly moving, profound and TRUE, True, True! Thank you my wise, beautiful friend.


    1. Ramski,
      from one goddess to another, i am so honored that it touched you!